July 02, 2026
"This is a really bad situation."
Unpaid bills were stacked everywhere. The ministry income had slowed to almost nothing. I had agreed to minister at a conference in Taiwan in a few days. Preachers from China had risked their lives just to be there, just to hear the Word. I didn’t have the money to go… had no idea how I was getting there.
Honestly, my trust in the Lord was shaken.
That night, something in me said: “Go pray.” I told my wife Kelly I was going to the office. She didn't ask questions. She could tell I was struggling. I drove there in the dark, locked the door, and started praying.
A few hours went by.
Kelly called and asked how it was going. “I’m good,” I said. “I’m just here and… nothing’s really happening.”
She was still talking when I felt it. Someone moving through the outer office. Through the locked door. Walking straight toward me. "Kelly." I said quietly. "I have to go. Right now."
The Night I Had Nowhere To Turn
Jesus was standing right there. White robe. A serious look. Not smiling.
I knew why.
He said, "We need to get to the bottom of this." What happened next is hard to explain. He literally stepped into my spirit. And we descended together.
We went so far down that when we stopped, we walked out onto bedrock — the very foundation of who I am in God. He pointed to a billboard in the distance, like one you’d see on a highway. In huge letters it said:
“Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him.” Right out of Job 13:15.
He was showing me the exact place where fear had reached my foundation. Then Jesus said, “What are you going to do about this?” I started to answer. "Oh, Lord—"
He stopped me. “Don’t answer yet. I want you to think about it.”
The vision slowly faded and I was back in the office.
Sitting at my desk. I thought, Oh boy… I really missed it. In the heat of battle, I had missed it.
The Vision In The Office
For three days, I prayed. I fasted.
On the third night, I came back to that office and stayed for hours. Then Jesus returned. Not like before.
This time, in a cloud of glory. A shaft of light appeared. And within that light was the presence of the Lord. I stepped into the light… and gave a full repentance.
Lord, I doubted You. I did not trust You the way I should have.
Even if the money never comes.
Even if I cannot make the trip.
Even if I never minister again.
I trust You.
The other things are blessings.
But You are the foundation.
I am Yours, through thick or thin.
And He received my repentance.
The test was over... but the situation remained.
The Return To The Light
Right after, the money poured in. The largest offering I had ever received in ministry, up to that point, arrived. I made the trip to Taiwan. Extraordinary miracles happened in those meetings. People had put their lives on the line just to be in that room. And God showed up for every one of them.
But the deeper miracle for me had already happened…
The money, the trip, the ministry — all of it could come or go.
I just wanted Him.
I was His.
And that had become enough.
This experience gave me something that I want to impart to you.
Maybe you're doing something He told you to do. Maybe you're declaring a promise. But the provision isn't there. The doors seem closed. Nothing is moving. Let me encourage you today. Trust Him through the waiting. Until you only want Him. Not the outcome, just Him. Get into prayer and tell Him how you feel. Let Him speak into you.
He is enough.
Now pray this with me – out loud:
"Father, help me with doubts. With trusting You. I'm done letting pressure shape what I believe about You. Even if the thing I'm waiting for never comes, even if the timeline doesn't make sense, even if nothing changes today — I don't care about any of that.
I just want You.
I trust You.
You are not just my Savior.
You are my Lord.
And I am Yours.
Through thick or thin.
In Jesus' name, amen."
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